Single Ladies: 10 Guys Never To Date If You Want To Get Married

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Many guys look like the ‘perfect’ husband material till you date them and you realise it isn’t what it is.

For a girl who wants to get married soon, if you meet any of these kind of guys, it’s better not to waste your time with them. It doesn’t mean they are bad people, just that their compatibility level with you will be zero in the end.

Inspired by Your Tango, here are the kind of guys you shouldn’t consider for marriage:

1. The Shady one: Everything about him is suspicious. And since trust is required, it’s never start anything with this guy. Just walk away.

2. The one who compares you to his exes: Usually when people move on, they really move on. This guy isn’t over his ex-girlfriend and will keep making you feel inadequate because there’s a large part of him that still wants her. If you know deep inside you that he would always choose her over you, it’s better to take a long walk.

3. The one who buys you unnecessary gifts: It doesn’t mean if your boyfriend gets stuffs for you then he’s shady. In this instance, his gifts are always a cover up for something, either he’s asking for forgiveness after messing around or the gifts are a replacement for being with you. It’s easy to get carried away but don’t be fooled.

4. The serial monogamist: This guy jumps from one relationship to another like he’s changing clothes. Commitment is only temporary for him and it looks like he’ll never end up you because he doesn’t know it’s like to be in a long-term relationship.

5. The alcoholic: he’s not a ‘social drinker’ though he swears to be one but doesn’t know when to stop the bottles from becoming numerous. He becomes aggressive and nasty when he’s had too much to drink and will turn on you. This kind of guy should be avoided like a plague.

To Be Continued….

Couples: 10 Things That Will Turn Your Relationship Sour

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Talking about yourself all the time

There are two people in your relationship and you should take it in turns to let each other speak. Don’t interrupt- just let them talk- you will get your turn, but your partner will be less inclined to listen to you if you don’t give them the same respect.

Spending every waking moment together

You are both still your own person and need to do things alone or with other people. You can’t be 100% compatible with someone else’s hobbies, passions and social circle so let them have their space and seek some out for yourself too.

Giving each other the silent treatment

This is very frustrating for both of you because one of you struggles to communicate what’s wrong while the other has no idea how to fix it. If you can try to always vocalize how you are feeling, even if you can’t make sense of it right away, your partner might be able to help you unravel your reaction to something.

Talking badly of each other to outsiders

Speaking negatively about each other will only encourage gossip and things to be blown out of proportion. There is only two of you in your relationship, try to keep it that way because bad comments have a nasty way of finding their way back to the person they are about.

Not saying thank you

Your partner may not be one for grand gestures, however the simple act of cooking you tea, driving you home after a night out or fixing you a drink all need recognition. If you get into the habit of taking the little things for granted, they will start to feel unappreciated.

Criticizing their family and friends

Everyone has their faults, but they love their folks all the same and so should you unless they do something wildly out of turn. Partners become defensive when you attack those closest to them so think before you verbally attack someone else they care about.

Focusing on the bad

All couples get angry at their partners for not doing something or doing it the ‘wrong’ way. Try to see past that and focus on what they do right. You will find that the good outweighs the bad and those socks left on the floor are a sacrifice you are willing to make for all the positive stuff they do for you.

Not complimenting them

Such comments may have come easily when you first got together, but now it takes a real effort to remember to say something complimentary to your loved one. It is well worth it if you take the time out to notice your partner because it makes them feel loved and lusted after. If you don’t they will assume you don’t find them attractive anymore.

Taking out all your stresses on them

They are an easy target- they live under the same roof and are there when you get home. Rather than take out all your angst on them- tell them what’s bothering you and work through it together. You can be angry- just around them- not at them. There is little point in shouting at your partner because you want to shout at someone else. Conversation can diffuse extreme reactions to things so take advantage of the power interaction.

Not talking

Talking lets you blow off steam, address problems in your relationship, puts you and your partner on the same page and helps you learn new things about each other; to name a few. It has so many benefits within a partnership- if you stop, you might as well be roommates not lovers.

How to Stop Leading Someone On When You Don’t Have a Future Together

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According  to relationship coach Marie Dubuque, when no longer feel the same way romantically as the other person in a new relationship, you should be sincere to yourself and not worry about the other person’s feelings.

It’s better you break it to them first than to let things build up between both of you. Waiting for the ‘right time’ will not make things better because there is no right time.

Many people end up in wrong marriages because they felt sorry for their partners and didn’t have the courage to break things off before everything became complicated.

If you don’t see a future with the person you are with, it’s better to let the person know than waiting for a long time.

Singles: 4 Ways to Cope With Your Breakup Without Falling Apart

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Most times after a breakup, you just want to lock yourself away from the world and cry your eyes out.

As much as it’s good to let out your pain, it’s not okay if you dwell in your misery for too long.

Try to find your confidence once more and fall-in love with someone else who would really appreciate you.

Inspired by Your Tango, here are a few things to do to get that confidence you lost back again:

1. Find new things to do: That’s a great way to overcome depression. Take on new tasks or try to complete that unfinished project you abandoned when you were still dating your ex.

2. Self-love is needed: This is in a good way. Appreciate yourself and how much your failed relationship has changed you. Try to look on the positive side, now you know what you want and what you don’t appreciate.

3. Learn to forgive: Let go of any wrong you and your ex may have done to each other while dating. Free your mind from guilt and you’ll be the best you can be in your next relationship.

4. Appreciate people who are always with you: Through thick and thin, they stood by you are are still standing by you. It’s important to appreciate the role they play in your life.

How To Cope With Your Breakup Without Falling Apart

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Love is magical at the first stage of every relationship, every seems perfect like nothing can ever go wrong. It feels like paradise and you and your partner are the only ones in a big romantic garden. Most times after a breakup, you just want to lock yourself away from the world and cry your eyes out. As much as it’s good to let out your pain, it’s not okay if you dwell in your misery for too long.

Here are some tips of ways to cope with your breakup without falling apart.

1. Build your confident.

Your past relationship can leave you feeling not only depressed, but unclear about who you really are. So, first, regroup. Feel free to sit still (and even analyze) for a few weeks, as suppressed grief sticks around, but don’t linger here for months!

Losing someone we love leads us to amazing new life directions, precisely because it changed us or because we’re forced to change after he leaves. Taking that first step is exciting, so turn off your electronics, put down the remote, and reconnect inward. Try to find your confidence once more and fall-in love with someone else who would really appreciate you.

2. Distance yourself from your ex

if it will make you feel better, delete the contacts, delete pictures and videos that has contains memories. Burn or hide gifts that will make you think of your ex. Avoid slow and boring love songs, change your playlist with inspirational songs that can help you move on.

3. Find new things to do

That’s a great way to overcome depression. Take on new tasks or try to complete that unfinished project you abandoned when you were still dating your ex. Hang out with friends and family, distract yourself and try not to be alone because an idle man is a devil work shop.

4. Self-love is needed

In everything you do, put yourself first. Love and appreciate yourself and how much your failed relationship has changed you. Try to look on the positive side, now you know what you want and what you don’t appreciate.

5. Learn to forgive

It may take a long while to forgive a person who hurt you at your core. Let go of any wrong you and your ex may have done to each other while dating. Free your mind from guilt and you’ll be the best you can be in your next relationship.

6. Reconnect with people who lift you up

When you feel that hum of inner happiness, clarity, and confidence start back up that’s when you can make some key decisions and start reconnecting with people again. Taking action and plugging back into our lives leads us away from dependency on our exes. We can now rely on ourselves for self-worth, self-love, and comfort and entertainment. Hang out with people who appreciate the parts of you that your ex criticized or rejected. Do the things he’d never do with you. When you stop simmering in the past, you’ll find your true partner in the present.

11 Signs You Are Desperate to Get Married

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Are you dying to say those two magical words, “I do”? Check out these 11 signs to know if you indeed are desperate to get married.

1. You check out every wedding dress displayed at every wedding store

You simply can’t take your eyes off those white wonders! Sometimes your friends have to push you to move away from the store window. You love to look at those wedding dresses and imagine yourselves in each one of them.

2. You are planning to buy a wedding dress soon

Either you have already bought your wedding dress or planning to buy it soon. Even if you don’t know who you’ll be marrying or when!

3. You have already planned your wedding theme in detail

The invitation cards, the menu, the flowers, the venue, etc., you’ve got it all ready on paper. All you need now is a groom willing enough to say ‘I do.’

4. You are always talking about ‘marriage’

Your family and friends have been the patient listeners to your ramblings about marriage and all that you want to do for the ‘final day.’

5. You’ve already written your vows

Your romantic marriage vows are ready. You have taken great pain to research and write the very best of them.

6. You start dreaming about marrying every guy you date

You might be dating for just a week, but that doesn’t deter you from imagining him as the groom who’ll sweep you away in a spectacular wedding.

7. You surprise your boyfriend with plans of your honeymoon

Poor guy must not have even proposed! And there you are, planning all about your honeymoon and babbling excitedly about all the fun things that you’ll do on your honeymoon.

8. You are too eager to meet and please his parents

You keep pestering your boyfriend to introduce you to his family. You simply can’t wait to be a part of them.

9. You are ready to bear all the marriage expenses if only your boyfriend gets ready to marry you

You won’t mind spending all from your account. All you need is your boyfriend’s willingness to get married.

10. You plan to propose

You can’t wait for him to get on to his knees to ask the question, ‘Will you marry me?’ So to make things quick, you have decided to propose your boyfriend.

11. You have thought of ‘trapping’ your boyfriend

Have you secretly stopped taking contraceptive pills so that you can get pregnant? Do you plan to ‘trap’ your boyfriend through pregnancy so as to put a bit of pressure on him to get married? If yes, then that’s the ultimate sign that shows how desperate you are to get married.

Getting married is a good thing, but make sure you are taking the plunge for the right reasons.

10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Spouse

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Compliment your spouse consistently. Tell him or her, “I love you,” all you want. But our experts say you must avoid saying these 10 things in order to keep your marriage intact.

1. “You always forget about me.” 
Warns Jane Greer, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, “generalizing with these kinds of statements will make your partner angry and defensive.” Even if you’re pointing out perceived character flaws with the best intentions, it’s better to stay mum, says Greer. As she explains, “no one wants to be pigeon-holed for doing something wrong all the time.”

2. “Fix this, or I’m filing for divorce.”
Says Lesli Doares, marriage coach and author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage, it’s never OK to toss around the D word in anger. “While you may be hurt or angry, threatening to end the relationship is a genie you can’t put back in the bottle,” she explains. “If it is the first time, it will permanently shift the relationship and increase any feelings of insecurity your partner has. If it is a threat you have used before, your spouse may be tired of feeling threatened and take you up on it.”

3. “You’re selfish.”
You may think your spouse only thinks of him or herself, but Greer advises against using this sentence as a way of blaming them. “Instead,” she says, “tell them what you’re looking for and what you need from them.” For example, if you feel as if your spouse never thinks of you because he or she won’t call to let you know he or she is late, it’s better to say, “I’d really appreciate if you called me on your way home from work!”

4. “You never …”
Says Doares, “Don’t say always or never as part of a complaint.” Why? Because, “putting things in terms of all-or-nothing will either make your partner defensive or feel like they can never win.” While saying this for the first time could lead to a fight, Doares says that repeatedly saying “never” could cause your partner to “eventually feel a sense of hopelessness that leads to resentment.”

5. “You’re lazy.” 
While it’s easy to toss out just what your partner does wrong, says Greer, “don’t discuss your spouse’s behavior in a critical, judgmental way.” Instead, she says, “tell them where you want them to be more involved and helpful.” By using constructive words, you’ll find that your partner is much more receptive to what you have to say.

6. “You’re stupid.”
Sure, it wasn’t your partner’s brightest idea to ask your not pregnant co-worker just how far along she is at your holiday party. But he or she likely didn’t bungle the big event on purpose. So, says Greer, “don’t name call or insult their character or integrity.” It’s just hurtful, and won’t prevent a similar situation in the future.

7. “You’re not like my ex.”
If you say this in a good way think: your ex used to fight dirty, and your spouse always uses constructive criticism then proceed. Otherwise, says Doares, “being compared to someone else makes assumptions about your partner’s intent that hasn’t been verified. If they don’t like the person you are comparing them to, it will also leave them feeling raw and vulnerable. These type of statements minimizes your partner as their own person and frequently leads to distance between the two of you.”

8. “You’re so sloppy.” 
Experts say choreplay is the best foreplay. So if you’re not getting enough dish-cleaning action, it’s understandable you could be upset. But, says Greer, “rather than saying this, tell him or her how you’d like his or her behavior to change. That way, you avoid condemning his or her character.”

9. “Your feelings are wrong.”
Even if you think your spouse is being too sensitive, “don’t tell them their feelings are wrong or stupid,” warns Doares. “You may not feel the same way about something that your spouse does, but that doesn’t make their feelings wrong.” While being confronted by feelings you don’t understand can be difficult, “this phrasing is dismissive of who they are and what is important to them,” Doares explains. “You gain your comfort at the cost of them losing theirs.”

10. “You’re [insert mean name].”
Name-calling is so high school. “Attacking your spouse’s character instead of addressing their specific behavior is hurtful and unproductive,” says Doares. It is also a sign of contempt. Once contempt enters your marriage, the chance of divorce goes through the roof. Being repeatedly called names undermines your partner’s sense of safety in your marriage and that will eventually kill their love.”

7 Things You Should Never Do When Pregnant

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Being pregnant and carrying a baby in your womb for nine months is no child’s play. Apart from the severe emotional and physical changes that a woman goes through during their pregnancy, one can expect a whole lot of sacrifices that they will have to make for the sake of their baby. Having said that, there is no greater joy that motherhood. A mother’s love cannot be compared to any other kind of love in the world. If you are the “soon-to-be mother” reading this, this will be very helpful advice to you. Since your body is now home to a life that you are about to conceive, a few things avoided will go lengths at protecting its well-being and future. Please read.

1. Taking up rides at amusement parks:

Roller coasters, water slides and those other kind rides activating your adrenaline rush are fun, but can very dangerous for the baby in your womb. The forceful landing, the swift jerks, the fear it causes you could even lead to a miscarriage.

2. Riding on the back of a horse:

Horseback riding causes immense pressure on the lower abdomen. The seating posture too is very wrong for a pregnant woman. The movement of a horse rider can cause immense disturbance to the baby in the womb. It could also injure the child.

3. Enjoying water Sports:

The water is an unknown territory. It is unpredictable, and even the strongest player can get injured due to negligence. During pregnancy, water sports are a strict no-no as the impact of the water current as well as the sudden movement can cause critical trauma to the infant.

4. Undertaking snowboarding:

Just like water sports, snowboarding too can cause severe trauma to the baby in your womb. Such activities are adventurous and always involve risk. Hence, for a pregnant woman it poses double the danger.

 

5. Consuming Injurious Substances:

 

Chemicals like tobacco and alcohol are okay in moderation at other times, but during pregnancy consumption of these substances will cause the baby to choke. Poor growth and improper brain development are some of the graver damages it could cause. It can also lead to abnormal facial features in the baby and mental retardation, as these substances are like poison to the child. Smokers, you surely don’t want to cut on the oxygen your baby receives and replace it with nicotine, carbon monoxide and tar right? Such harmful chemicals have caused low birth weight or even a cleft palate among babies in the past.

 

6. Indulging in feta cheese:

 

A pregnant mother should be a tad more careful about what she consumes. Feta which is a very popular ingredient used in pastas and pizzas often carries food borne illness called Listeriosis. For a woman who is not pregnant, Listerosis could cause flu-like symptoms. However for a pregnant women, Listerosis will harm your baby who is too delicate to be burdened with the slightest infection. You could instead switch to other options like mozzarella cheese which is not only safer but good for your baby, to satisfy your cheese cravings.

 

7. Intake of excessive caffeine:

 

Coffee-addiction is something that women find is most difficult to give up during their pregnancy. However you should keep reminding yourself that too much coffee intake during pregnancy specifically during the first trimester could cause miscarriages or other health related issues in the fetus.

 

Pregnancy is a beautiful period. It all depends the way you look at it. While some whine and complain about the sacrifices they have to make, others look at it as an opportunity to give up their own dangerous habits and to look after someone they love so much. How you look at it is in your hands. Have a happy pregnancy period!

Where Are The Ladies? These Are The 4 Types Of Guys You Should Not Play ‘Hard-To-Get’ With


There is always this misconception among our young Nigerian ladies of today that playing ‘hard to get‘ is the sure way of identifying a guy who truly desires and cherishes them.

This notion is not only fallacious, it also stands on a sinking foundation! There are guys who would play along with you to the end just to ‘get down with you’ and eventually show you the EXIT SIGN when it is time for them to take a leave cool It doesn’t matter the method you use in playing the so-called ‘hard to get’. If you like, do it in a Chinese style or Zimbabwean style!!! Dat nor be dia concern!!! wink
On a serious note, that a guy doesn’t have time to start running after you like a kindergaten child doesn’t mean he never desired you or liked you in sincerity. Different strokes for different folks, they say wink Below are the types of guys that find it difficult to tolerate ‘hard to get’ in romantic affairs:

1. Intelligent guys:These set of guys find it difficult to tolerate all the unnecessary rigmarole that comes with a lady playing hard-to-get. Do you think an intelligent person doesn’t know he is? You cannot be the one to tell him; he knows it. He probably has some real brain-storming stuffs to do that can create wealth and help others as well other than chasing you up and down the road or calling your line several times without any response on daily basis!

2. Ambitious guys:When I say ‘ambitious’, I’m not talking of guys who wake up in the morning with huge wraps of indian hemp in their hands with loud talk of ‘I go hammer, I go hammer’!!! I mean guys who have concrete dreams and are working towards it. They probably won’t have time to chase you here and there when they know they have lot and lot of work to do. There’s a difference between chasing women and dating a girl; you probably don’t expect the latter to slow down his dreams! He might need you sincerely; he doesn’t want to chase women wink

3. Guys that are emotionally strong:It takes an emotionally strong bloke to turn down the unreasonable request of a woman in a reasonable way. This means that guys who are emotionally strong have a greater possibility of saying ‘NO’ to the ritualistic torture or torment that goes with playing hard-to-get. They might easily back up. That doesn’t mean they lacked sincere desires or are feeble-minded; it could mean that they are just too emotionally upgraded to start playing the role of a primary school boy in a movie directed by the lady!

4. Introverted guys:These people think very deeply because they spend much time alone. When a lady plays hard to get, it irritates them often times and they quickly dump her matter!!! Now, what’s the stress? Since he is a deep thinker and probably a melancholic, he might paint a beautiful picture of love for you in his heart and when you mess up with your hard-to-get stunts, he quickly gives up because you not only burst his bubbles; you spoil the beautiful picture he employs his creativity painting.

Add Yours.